The Perils of Being a Wheelchair User

There are many situations I have been in that have shocked me, being a wheelchair user, or things that people will say or are happy to say in modern day. 2018. The 21st century. Below are a few examples of sadly the many experiences that I am not alone in experiencing.

A lady in the supermarket car park said to me: ‘It is such a shame; you are too pretty to be in a wheelchair.’ Would it be alright then if I was not pretty? It is kind of her to say that I was pretty, but disability is not selective in looks. It does not care who it strikes.

Another example is a few weeks ago, I went to an event, that should have been set up well given the audience it was intended for. It didn’t start well. The steps were so steep. I didn’t think even if there was a ramp, my wheelchair would have been able to make the gradient up, so I thought I would have to listen from outside. However, they got a long ramp out and eventually, after having it the wrong way up and then upside down it was in position! I then reluctantly went up expecting my wheels on my powerchair to spin and not take me.

Surprisingly, my wheels managed to grip and I made it to the top. It was quite busy with very little seats left available, so I chose to sit in the aisle next to an empty seat, that Mum could then sit in.

Towards the end, a member of staff came up to Mum from behind and said: “Please can you move THE WHEELCHAIR!” I turned around to see what was happening and I then said: “Would you like ME to move?” I was quite shocked.

Firstly, they had spoken to Mum and completely ignored me. Then secondly, I had been referred to as ‘the wheelchair’. I am a person. A person who happens to need to use a wheelchair. I am not a wheelchair! I said to my Mum that if it was possible, she should have lifted me out of the wheelchair and put me on the floor. Then just moved the wheelchair as that is what was asked of her!

I am a person. A person who happens to need to use a wheelchair. I am not a wheelchair!

Similarly, I hate it when people refer to wheelchair users as ‘wheelchair people’. What is a wheelchair person? A person made of a wheelchair?  A better term would be wheelchair user.

Other examples include people saying to my Mum: “Can she speak?”, to which my Mum replied: “Why don’t you ask her?”

The time when I typed in my pin and requested cash back and my Mum was given the cash. She was quite pleased. I was not!

Will You Ever Walk Again?

Then there is the common occurrence of ‘What is your prognosis?’ or ‘Will you ever walk again?’ People don’t even know you and this is literally their first question. What are you supposed to say if you are never going to walk again or the prognosis is unknown? It is a very personal and sensitive question. The person satisfies their inquisition and goes away knowing, and the person with the condition/disability who lives with it 24/7 and it affects, gets left feeling upset, down or emotional.

These are just a few examples of situations or things that have been said to me and I know that I am not alone.

Wheelchair Users Are People

I know it can be difficult and sometimes we all say the wrong thing. However, please just remember we are PEOPLE and we also have feelings. Sometimes these things can be upsetting.

I used to be quite shy but more recently I will stand up, (just realised maybe that is not the best terminology!) for not just myself, but for what is right. Fair. Especially, for those who can’t speak or fight for themselves. Hopefully if I say something it will mean someone, maybe just one or two will not have to go through the situation I have been through. It will make a difference.

I am hoping to help change some of this. Help educate the public through my blog and speaking. #DisabilityGamechanger

Together we can make a difference and my trademark quote that I have used so many times since I wrote it for my TEDx speech. “Next time you speak to a disabled person try and look beyond their disability and see the person within, they are just like you.”

Hannah x

For further reading you can check out my other posts – My Wheelchair: Is it Disabling or Enabling? and Helpful Tips When Speaking to When Speaking to Wheelchair Users and Disabled People