Disability and Dating
A few weeks ago something hit me. I am 29 and going to be 30 next year. It is like a realisation came over me. I am going to be 30 next year! A 30 year old is a proper adult. Their life should be in order.
My life is not in order and if I want to achieve some of these things, I need to hurry up and do something about it.
My Life Plan
I would like to get married and have children, a life plan or goal I am sure many others can relate to. Buying my own house, getting a job and having a good steady income are also high up on the list.
Something dawned on me. I had not really understood my age before, it was like a new inside knowledge.
I thought if this is what you want then maybe you need to do something about it. It takes time to meet someone and time to find the right person.
Currently, (well pre pandemic) the places I go out each week are not places I am going to meet someone as there are not many young men my age. So I might be waiting a very long time!
Online Dating
Is it time I did something about it? Is it time to try online dating? I am a bit hesitant of the thought. You will be talking to strangers. Do you really know what they are like or if they are who they say they are?
I know it is the way most couples meet these days. For even non-disabled people struggle to meet Mr or Mrs Right in face-to-face social circumstances.
Disclosing My Disability
What would I say about being chronically ill/disabled? How would I include it? If I do say something people will just immediately bypass me as they won’t want to go out with a wheelchair user. Alternatively, if I don’t say anything then they will probably just dissappear as soon as they find out. If they did stick around trust might be lost as they think that I am not being truthful. What should I do?
I can see it could be overwhelming for someone. Before having a disability would I have done the same? I would like to hope not. I think it is helpful to try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
I also don’t want people to see me just as disabled. I am a person. A person who has a disability. Like most disabled and non-disabled people I have a personality, ambitions and dreams. It is just I have many more hurdles to overcome to achieve them.
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| Disability and dating |
My Mum always says that she thinks it would be better for me to meet someone in person and them get to know me gradually and things will kind of develop from there. They will get to know ME as a person and hopefully look beyond my disability and see the person within-Hannah.
Hannah x
One Comment
Carl
I just noticed that you posted this on my daughter's birthday so I had to comment 🙂 I agree with what your mum says, so meet people and see what develops. You may see your disability as a disadvantage but you mustn't think like that. If someone judges you for being in a wheelchair then that person isn't for you anyway. The right one will love you as you are. Your partner is out there somewhere so don't stop looking 🙂